Conquer Fire
by hungergamestories
Summary: How Peeta and Katniss grew back together after the revolution split them apart. This story tells all the things left unsaid in the world of Katniss and Peeta from both of their points of view. From the love story, to the Capitol. The story shall continue.
1. Primroses

A/N: this story is post-mockingjay. It starts one hour after Peeta plants primroses on Katniss' front yard. Please review and comment any ideas you have for it!

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><p>Peeta<p>

"Come on Haymitch I don't have time for this". I said to him throwing a pillow in his face after he again tried to stab me with his knife. I then take away the whisky bottle in his hand and his eyes flutter open. "It's 3 O'clock for god's sake Haymitch get up!" I was not in the mood for this and he could see that.

"Something wrong lover boy?" he asks, not really caring what I answer. It's been like that ever since the day I told him I would never forgive him for saying "Yes" to the Hunger Games Coin proposed. But he knows I'll never stop caring enough to stop coming over each day and make sure he's still alive. Anyways, he and Katniss are the only ones I have now, and we are all going mad too. So everything's fine. This thought makes me smile. I turn to face Haymitch and he's still looking at me waiting for an answer.

"We have a meeting in 30 minutes in house four", House four is another empty Victor's Village house. Which is ridiculous since there won't be any more victors, anyone could live there. "Effie is here with some important message from the capitol so get ready".

I set some eggs and bread in a plate and hand it to him. Make sure he eats and then leave, go to Katniss' backyard and finish planting the primroses I had been working on earlier when she so harshly dismissed me.

I do this not only because I want her to feel happier, but to catch her attention. I miss her of course, but it is like I'm only the boy with the bread all over again. Like she's nice to me because she somehow feels that she owes something to me. Which is ridiculous. I owe to her my existence and happiness.

After I finish I allow myself inside, knowing she is probably sitting in her chair, lifelessly staring out the window and into Victor's Village.

"Katniss?" I call out and as I suspected she is sitting in her chair staring out the window, but to my surprise she is already dressed for the meeting. It hurts seeing her like this. It hurts in a way I can't bare. Rips my heart apart because she pushes me away, and each time a little further. "Oh, you're already dr-"

"Effie called", She says "Thank you, Peeta".

Hate this. Hate it. It's like we are nothing. Like she didn't kiss me begging for me to stay with her.

But I can't let go.

"Katniss.."

"I know what you are gonna say Peeta".

"Well then let me say it", but she doesn't want to hear it. She has, many times since we came back. "Listen, you know I love you. Madly. And I'll never go anywhere, I'll never leave you", my eyes were filled with tears. The thought of ever leaving her breaks me. I dropped my head so she wouldn't see me tear. "But don't push me away". I finally said.

"I'm sorry". She said as she buried her face in my chest.

Katniss

"Katniss?" calls Effie. She has a bright red wig, which matches with her bright red lips. Always calling for attention but not as exaggerated as usual. We all changed after the revolution.

"Katniss" calls Haymitch shaking my arm.

"Are you okay with it?" asks Effie. I finally react.

"Okay with what?" I ask, not knowing what they were talking about. After what Peeta just said to me, I couldn't listen to anyone but him and think how I could never deserve as much of 10 percent of what he is. How I will never be able to repay all that he has done for me, how I'll never be able to make it up to him for the times that I've hurt him and turned him down. And that makes me feel extremely guilty, because I've hurt him so many times even though I do want him with me, but I can never allow myself to be with him like that. It would be selfish because I can never marry him. I can never be a good wife, or mother. He deserves a happy life, and I can't provide that.

"Okay with us going to the Capitol". Says Haymitch, somewhat annoyed. He enjoys this meeting as little as it gets. Just like me.

"Um…" I mumble because I have no idea what they are talking about.

Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"Look, Commander Paylor wants to have celebration of the rebellion. They are going to change the capitol's seal with a Mockingjay. They are going to present the nation's flag, which too will be a Mockingjay. And they want you and Peeta to present as a symbol of a new nation", he explains "and our Mockingjay can't fail to go.

I feel horrified by the thought of going back to the place where Prim was killed. Her name makes me want to cry, but this is not the time or place.

"I'll go".

"Perfect! Tomorrow will arrive your prep team and we will review the schedule". Says Effie, exited as always.

I stood up, turned to look into Peeta's eyes, notifying it was time to go. Said goodbye and walked through the door with Peeta behind me.

"Are you okay with going?" he asks, obviously concerned. "We can stay if you want".

"No it's okay. I want to see my mom", I smile to him while we walk to my house "She needs me now that Prim's not here". And suddenly tears run trough my cheeks and even though it's dark, he can sense this so he stops me and takes them away with his finger and puts both my hands in his.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" he says with pain in his eyes. He doesn't want to be alone and neither do I.

"Yes", I answer relieved that he asked. We go inside my house and I find Buttercup.

"Goodnight cat". I tell him. We've been nicer to each other since Prim left. We now understand each other a little better. We go upstairs and I go into the bathroom and change and he does the same. We climb into bed and almost reflexively I burry myself on his body as he puts his arms around me. I sink into sleep only to let nightmares overtake me.

I was in the meadow with Gale talking about running away just before the reaping of my first Hunger Games, but then, when I turn to face him he's not there anymore. "Gale?" I start looking for him but can't find him. I start running through the woods until I see Peeta. He's standing next to a tree with a rope collar around his neck. He has another rope collar in his hand, as if handing it to me. I start walking towards him and what I suspect to be the hanging tree when I hear Gale's voice yelling to me; "Don't do it! Don't do it!"

I stop to consider this, take a look at Gale and consider going with him -

And I go back to consciousness.


	2. Dangerous Thoughts

Comment and Review please!

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><p>Peeta<p>

"Katniss", I say shaking her shoulder gently, "Wake up". I stroke her hair until her eyelashes flutter to reveal her deep, gray eyes.

"Hey", she says.

"Good morning", I smile and she smiles back, gets up and kisses my cheek. Without another word, she gets in the bathroom and the shower starts running. I go downstairs and prepare breakfast for 3. Go to Haymitch's house to drag him for breakfast. Usual round. Passed out Haymitch, no stabbing, horrible smell and a whisky bottle. Empty. He gets dressed and I drag him to Katniss' house and sit him in the kitchen. I hand him his plate as Katniss comes down.

"Morning Haymitch", she says to him. She sits in the table, I take her plate and hand it to her. We all start eating. "So when are we leaving?"

"Today, 4 o'clock". Haymitch answers.

"Katniss!" Effie yells from the door. I stand up as the same time Katniss does and we both go open the door. "Oh good! You're both here".

"Good morning Effie", I say as she comes in. "Haymitch is in the kitchen".

"Hello Haymitch", says Effie sitting down. "Lets review the schedule shall we?" she opens her golden portfolio, gets out 3 schedules and hands one to each of us. First thing today, prep team.

"Peeta! Katniss!" Yells Octavia as she sees us. Venia and Flavius are right behind her. We get various hugs and kisses from the team. I like this people, always so happy and exited even with the odds out of anyone's favor.

Now that my prep team is dead, Katniss and me share until I'm assigned a new one.

I could not stop laughing the whole time because Katniss was having all of her leg and arm hair removed. I'm grateful they don't do that to me.

When they finished with me Flavius gave me a black tux, which is what I'll be wearing tomorrow in the ceremony. I went over to my house to leave it. I put on some pants and a shirt and leave to town. It's been long since I go to the bakery, now that my dad's best friend runs it. It would only be right if I did, but it's too painful for me, and the tracker jacker fake memories often attack my brain while I'm there. Like wanting to kill her, the bakery sometimes seems to trigger them. I seem to remember that day when I received a beating for giving bread to Katniss, and my memories turn it against her, like it was her fault.

And today was no different. Great.

I was walking out of the mental hospital -which is new- with a horrible headache and pain in my arm of the sedative they'd injected. I'm a threat for Katniss, and that makes me fall apart, because if I ever do much of a scratch to her, I could never live with myself. I should've taken the nightlock when I could. I will not be going to the bakery anymore. I spot her as I'm entering Victor's Village. She's in the middle of the street; she sees me and sprints in my direction. She's extremely beautiful as always, wearing that sweater and pair of pants I hate, because they hide her perfect figure.

"Peeta! Just heard, are you okay?" she asks me as she comes closer to me with worried eyes that then turn to anger, "Why did you go to the bakery? I hate it when you have attacks!" She did mention that before, she thinks it is her fault. But all this seemed to have given her a headache too, that happens to us very often. As I had thought, we are all going mad. She seemed to be in pain so I took her in my arms, which made her laugh, and carried her to her house. Even though it was 3 O'clock, I took her upstairs and put her to bed. Gave her a painkiller and waited until she fell asleep to kiss her forehead and leave.

I am in the square, in the middle of the crowd trying to see who is the person that is getting a beating from a peacekeeper. As I make my way through the crowd, I start seeing familiar faces. My mom, sobbing and my dad, tearing. And a kid, being beat up by a peacekeeper I can't recognize. My heart cracks and I go mad. I start calling for him, desperately screaming for my little brother. I want to take his place so I run for him but I as I come closer, the peacekeeper turns around to stop me and I see her face, Katniss.

I wake up sweating, urging to take a grip on something because I'm afraid my thoughts won't let me stand on my feet. Good thing one of them is metal. I go to the bathroom to take a shower and try to convince myself that Katniss would never hurt me or my family. I put on some pants, take the tux and head to Katniss' home. Whenever I doubt of Katniss, I try to hold on to something and list all the reasons why I am so madly in love with her. I promise myself, I would never let the thoughts implanted in my brain by president snow, break me away from her. A fire in District 12 by the Capitol killed my family. I love Katniss Everdeen- But this time, that thought is enough for my mind and I can't stop smiling, because I start remembering all the times she chose me over Gale.


	3. Capitol

AN: Sorry I haven't updated since forever! Lot of things going on, won't happen again :) enjoy! Please do review and leave ideas for the story.

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><p>Katniss<p>

I head with Peeta to the train station, after he comes to my house and makes me breakfast. I can't cook. We meet Haymitch, Effie and the prep team there and we all board the train. We go to the diner for lunch and review the activities for when we get to the Capitol.

"We will arrive there at 5 O'clock. We will head directly to President Paylor's mansion, which is where you three will be staying", Effie explains. This mansion is what used to be President Snow's, which is the last place I want to stay, and Haymitch knows that because after he sees my face, he objects.

"We are not staying there. We will stay in the centre's Hotel", I'm so glad he did that. I'm sure no one of us wants anything to do with that place. The time we spent there was a nightmare.

"President Paylor wants you as guests. After all, you are the most important characters in the revolution movement", says Effie. I turn to look at Peeta who is looking at Effie intensively, asking for him to fix it.

"Effie you know this wouldn't be good for any of us. Tell commander Paylor it will have to be another time". This somehow reminded me of Gale, his voice sounded empowering. He wouldn't want to be there either, we have suffered so much because of Snow.

"I'll make the arrangements", she couldn't argue with the three of us. "So, next we'll be arriving at the justice building, where the ceremony will be held and televised. There you will change". We go through a few more details about the ceremony and then me and Peeta go to my compartment to take a nap. I first said no, bacause I don't want him to believe that somehow I want him back. I obviously do, but I can't do that to him, I'll somehow end up hurting him. But his sad eyes i can't bare, so I say yes and his face lights up. As always. It's becoming a tradition now, both of us sleeping in this train. I don't like it, I would much rather stay in twelve and never come back to the Capitol.

I get into bed as he does. He's about to pull me in his arms as he always does when I turn away. He sighs loudly. I feel terrible, but I will just end up hurting him more the next time I go back into depression and push him away. I don't deserve him and he needs to see that. He needs to be with someone that can make him hap-

"You are never going to change your mind about me, are you?" he says with pure sadness in his voice. "I mean, you are never going to see me as anything more", he paused as if the words where like knives stabbing their way out, "..than what I am to you now?" but i just couldn't answer so I kept on giving my back to him and pretended to be asleep, even though I know he knew I wasn't. He gave up after a while and fell asleep as I cried in silence asking for forgiveness. Something I could never deserve.

About an hour later, Effie knocks to wake us up.

"We arrived people! Grab your bags!" her enthusiasm annoys me, I have a terrible headache. But I obey, we grab our bags and head outside. It's warm, spring has begun, and it has this weird feeling to it, like the Capitol transitioned from this horrible slaughter place, to actually a glorious place. A place of freedom and justice. Maybe it's not going to be so bad after all.

We get into the black cars and make our way to the center of the Capitol. We go to the centre's Hotel and check in. As we go out of the cars, many persons recognize us and a giant crowd starts to head our way. I guess people here haven't got used to us like the people in Twelve. Peeta starts smiling and waving, making the perfect appearing as always. While I, like a little girl hide behind him blushing and barely waving. Makes me laugh, that I can take a war with no fear, but I can't take being famous for 5 minutes. We go inside and check in. Me and Peeta have separate rooms, but I know we'll both probably be staying in the same one. Even when it is the mont selfish thing to ask, I hate to be left alone at night when I have nightmares and Peeta has his tracker jacker venom attacks. We are the only ones able to help each other. We get to our rooms and our prep team arrives. First they do Peeta's final touches in his room and then they come to mine to do my final touches. Flavius hands me a hanger with a dress inside and before I opened it to see the dress Flavius tells me; "He wanted me to give you this one personally. He wanted me to say that this is not the last dress he made for you, the final and most important one, is yet to come and I can't tell you for what occasion it is. But he told me you were to wear this one in the revolution ceremony".

Of course. He knew I would do it even when I thought I could not. He knew I would turn Panem around. But I can't stop guessing what is the last one for. The most important one.

What could be an event more important than the revolution?

Peeta

As she comes out of the room with a full-length body turquoise and golden dress which accents her curves perfectly, she has her hair down like waves coming down her shoulders, and she lets a beautiful smile as she sees me. She seems pleased to look at me and how Flavius dressed me. I couldn't think of anything more beautiful and stunning.

"Look at you, all handsome in a tux", she says sending shivers al throughout my body.

"You look beautiful Katniss", I say as I offer my arm and we walk together to the elevator. We go to the bottom floor and get in the car to go to the Justice Building. People walk down the streets, eat at local restaurants, wear ridiculously expensive clothing. Guess nothing has changed much around here. Except for the people, many of them were killed or are taken prisoners. I wonder what they have done to their children.

The car stops, there's traffic. I stare at this little kid who is playing in the sidewalk. He's black haired and has green eyes. He's playing with a toy cart and in his other hand he holds an ice cream, but then a very sudden movement makes his ice cream fall and he starts laughing and I laugh with him too because it reminds me of my brother. He never cried, he only laughed. I just wanted to get out of the car, take him in my arms and keep him. But I didn't. I saw her from the corner of my eye, looking at the boy, watching me laugh with him. And she will probably know what I'm thinking. I do want a family one day, but I have to prove to her -because I want to marry her- that things can be good again.

The car accelerates and we get to the Justice Building.

The ceremony begins. "One last time?" she whispers in my ear as I take her hand. I nod.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Katniss Everdeen, Mockingjay!" announces president Paylor. "And the man, who saved District 13, millions of lives as well as our Mockingjay's, Peeta Mellark!" the crowd goes crazy as Katniss and I appear in the stage. I smile and laugh because this is the first time we are both actually happy of why we are on stage. And she smiles because she can also realize that. After all this time, she knows me and I know her, I think, better than anyone.

We take our seats on stage as president Paylor begins the his speech, but I only heard part of it, I was lost looking at Katniss, who to my surprise, was staring at Gale sitting across the stage. Jealousy slapped me in the face as she wouldn't look anywhere else but to Gale's face. He was in a tux similar to mine, but his was brown. I don't hate him, no. But I'm sure that if he weren't Katniss' best friend and if I weren't jealous of that, I still would not be friends with him. But I could never hate him, for all that he has done for Katniss and all the protection he has given to her when I didn't, I'll be eternally grateful for that.

Only the last words of Paylor's speech snap me off my thoughts:

"..and for those, who we will be eternally grateful", just what I was thinking, "those who gave their lives for the cause". Says paylor as the lights dim down, and gigants screens are turned on. The mockingjay symbol appears, and then it starts, one of the saddest things I have ever have to put through, the memorial of those who died during the revolution.

First it starts with Finnick, they showed a short tape of him laughing, tying nods and him and Annie kissing in their wedding, and I know Katniss started to cry before I realize I have started to tear up. I hold his hand tighter in the dark. Then she takes my cheek as Cinna's tapes start.

"Make it go away", she cries in silence. Then Boggs tape appears with all of the commander's tapes, then many of the tributes who passed away. But that wasn't the worst, because when we thought it was about to end, I lost grip of Katniss' hand to see she was looking for something in her dress with mad eyes. My eyes went to the screen. There she was with her pretty kid's face, braided blonde hair and grayish eyes. Prim.

"Where did you put the nightlock!" her voice was barely louder than a whisper but enough for Haymitch to hear. He stood up and came across the stage with his gray suit and look of sadness to whisper to her, "It wouldn't look good if you kill yourself on sage sweetheart", but he seemed to understand, "you both just pull through the ceremony. No one is expecting more". He walked back to his seat in the darkness while the last videos of my family where playing and I wanted to beg for them yo play them again so I could take a final look at my little brothers, my mother and father, as they vanish away forever. Only for the shinny memories of the peacekeeper version of Katniss whipping my brother to the death take place. And I look away from her. _They are dead. No one can touch them. Katniss is no harm. Katniss is no harm. I lo- I love- I love her. _

That was harder to take in, but I promised myself Snow would never again break me apart from her, or else he would win, and I in all that matters, would loose. Those dark days, would never come back. She wipes the tears of her face but her eyes cannot hide the sadness. Lights come up and the screen signs off with the mockingjay symbol.

Cheering from the crowd comes to me like voices telling me not to worry, and so I take her hand in mine. Paylor says a few words of goodbye, to all who died, but the ceremony must continue. I spot Annie and Johanna, who also have tears in their faces, as well as Effie and the prep team. Gale is still looking at the screen, as if waiting for someone else to appear. He didn't cry, he didn't have anyone to really be sad about, except Prim.

Me and Katniss walk to the Mockingjay flag we are supposed to present as the new symbol of the capitol. She clears her throat to speak, which is not the usual, normally I would speak.

"We all lost someone we loved", she looks to her hands, as if trying to get a grip because she's afraid she might fall. I grab her shoulder in comfort, "during the battle. We lost hope, and they gave it to us. We lost our way, and they led us back. So let's honor their death, lets make Panem remember them and what they did, because to them, we owe our freedom!" she finishes and a girl in the crowd starts to sing.

_Deep in the meadow, Under the willow, A bed of grass, A soft green pillow, Lay down your head, And close your sleepy eyes, And when again they open, The sun will rise, Here it's safe, Here it's warm, Here the daisies guard you from every harm, Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true, Here is the place where I love you. _

And for one last time, they all start whistling Rue's song, not afraid of who might hear.

All because of the woman that risked her life to bring me medicine in my first games, the one who made a revolution and changed my life.


	4. I Know Better

AN: This is the final version of the chapter 'I Know Better', please re-read if you read the first version!

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><p>Katniss<p>

As I wake up in my bed -alone- I can barely remember anything from last night. Just three things I remember clearly: First, Prim's face on a video appearing somewhere. Second, Haymitch saying "To forget", as he gave me the whisky bottle guilty of my condition. And third, Gale coming to the roof last night...

"Don't want to talk, Peeta", I said taking the whisky bottle to my mouth. I just wanted to forget something that made me upset. Not sure what, but it clearly worked.

"It's me drunkie", he said sitting next to me, taking a look at the Capitol's view.

"Hey Gale", I was kind of mad that I remember. I know I saw him kissing a girl who I thought was called Danriua. Pretty of course, since he is, she must be.

"Mad huh?" he asks. I know for sure I'm not jealous, but I am mad. Mad it took me by surprise, and I realize it must have been like that with me an Peeta, only ten times worse. I have no right to be mad. And I can never be his friend again anyways, not like before. Not after he may be guilty of Prim's- "Look Catnip, I know this isn't just about you seeing me with Daunria, so just tell me what's wrong already". He was right, it wasn't only about that.

"You never came back. You didn't even say goodbye. You left".

"And you know I couldn't. And I'll never be able to fix it", I could see great guilt and pain in his eyes as the words came out. But this time I didn't want to kiss him, instead I took a gulp of whisky and swallowed. I can never be his friend, but for both of us, things couldn't stay like they were. Not if we ever intended to be happy again.

"I- I-", but the words wouldn't come out. And I saw he understood as he dropped his face. I drank a little more whisky until the words came out; "I forgive you".

A pair of lips meet mine.

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><p>I get up of the bed to open the door. Johanna hugs me before she comes inside. Which is weird of her.<p>

"Yesterday was intense wasn't it, roomy?" she says as she sits on my bed. She has a pair of pants and a pretty shirt on, hair down and still manages to look dangerous and strong.

"Can't remember much".

"Partied hard?" she asks and laughs, knowing I didn't have much fun, because neither did her. But then she stops and looks into my eyes to tell me good news: "how's the weather back in twelve?"

We go to the hotel's restaurant to meet Effie, Haymitch, Annie and Peeta who we will har lunch with. I still have a horrifying hangover but I manage to be exited about Johanna moving to Twelve when she tells me her reasons in the elevator.

"..and we can be neighbors! I'll be moving to Victor's Village, house four I think it is", the house I thought before today, would be abandoned forever. I am happy of having another friend who knows what I'm going trough besides Peeta. If you can call her my friend, that is. Although I'm not sure if I like someone stealing my alone-time with Peeta.

"Hello hangover!" Haymitch jokes, "I didn't thought that would ever happen again". He laughs.

"Well don't get used to it", I smile. My stomach turns as Peeta stands up looking really attractive, with his blonde hair pulled back. His gaze looks intense and jaw closed tightly.

"Hey Katniss, hey Johanna". He says never looking away from my eyes. He looks angry, intense.

"Well sit down, we have a lot of things to do today", Effie says as she leads us to the table, but I can see Annie is not here.

"Where's Annie?" I ask. I had been hoping to see her, since I didn't got a change yesterday... That I remember.

"She had an appointment with the pregnancy doctor", Peeta answers, "I offered to go with her but she said she had to go alone... With Finnick". And who are we to deny her privacy with her dead husband. I get sad at the memory of his loss. Finnick will always be a part o my family, and his son as well as Annie. Even though I don't know her as much.

"She'll meet us later", Effie says hurrying to get on to the schedule, "You all need to get ready because we will be doing a few appearances today. We will have a meeting in president Paylor's mansion first", that is Snow's mansion. I suddenly want to throw up at the thought of smelling blood and roses and looking in his snake-like eyes as he threats to kill my loved ones. _Snow is dead. The Capitol has been overthrown by the rebels. My name is Katniss Everdeen and I am the Mockingjay. I am the face of the revolution, I have to be there. For Prim, my dead sister. _"and then go to a private school here in the City Centre. Tomorrow we'll go home". Relief, me and Peeta, alone. And Johanna.

We finish eating. "Look presentable!" Effie commands as we head back to our rooms. And the hangover is still there, I feel tired and my head hurts. I don't enjoy alcohol, but to forget, I'll take it. I enter my room and I see an outfit has been set for me to wear. It's one of Cinna's Mockinjay outfits. It was a red jumpsuit, with gold detail all over it, one of my favorites. I adjusted the gold belt and Octavia came in to do my makeup. She was telling me about this wonderful event she was invited to, _my first 'revolutionary' event_, she said excitedly. She puts light makeup on my face since I objected more. I take a look at myself in the mirror, my hair is in a messy up-do, and for the first time in a long time, I allow myself to think I look pretty, and it makes me feel pleased. I smile at myself.

"What's with you?" Octavia chuckles, "I hadn't seen you smile in a long time. It suits you".

"It does, doesn't it?" I mumble to myself. I think I haven't allowed myself to. But she would've wanted me to smile.

I go out of my room and head to the elevator. The door opens and I found Annie.

"Katniss!" she yells enthusiastically.

"Hey Annie", I answer as she hugs me, "How's the baby?" I look at her stomach. It has gotten big, but only just. She has dark circles under her eyes and an expression between grief and exhaustion, but she's still gorgeous though, like Finnick.

"Great", she says as she smiles at her tummy, "I've been told today I'm going to have a baby boy! And I already know how I'm going to call him", Finnick of course, and I will always love him, just like Finnick would live my kid. He will have the same sea green eyes, and he will be a great person, just like his parents.

"Well, now we know Finnick is now the happiest man", and I mean that, because he probably is... Or would be. "Are you coming for the meeting?" I say changing the subject. I'm not good for this things, Peeta is.

"Yes. I'll be there in Finnick's place", she says, "but first, I need to eat something. Thus baby is eating me up!" I laugh and we go down the elevator and back to the restaurant.

We sit at our table and I spot Gale having breakfast with Daunria in the other side of the restaurant. And I found myself staring at them as Annie speaks to me but I don't pay attention. It surprises me, that I am not jealous, as I thought i'd be. I was a little angry, because he didn't tell me about it, but as I found myself looking at them, I realize I am not. Better at least someone of us find its way back to happiness. "Katniss?" Annie says, dragging me back from my thoughts.

"Oh sorry", I say looking back into her eyes. She laughs, "What?" I ask.

"Little jealousy?" she says and I flush a bit, "it's okay. Must be weird, after last night".

"No, actually. It's just..." I stop because, I have just realized what I am about to say, "I had always thought, if I were to be with someone, that way, it would be with Gale. But I never thought I would have had the opportunity to, I wasn't allowed to think like that. And now that I can, I don't want to be with him", we both turn to look at him laughing with Daunria, and then the door opens and Peeta comes in. I smile, and I feel relieved he came, I do love to see his always-happy face. I'm lost in thought, until her words hit me, _must be weird, after last night._"Wait... Last night?" I ask confused. Why would last night change anything? She chuckles.

"You remind me of myself", she answers as I turn to look at Peeta who is entering the kitchen, still looking as handsome as this morning. "I would reject Finnick every time, even though I did like him. But I always find myself looking at him like that", this startles me, I never look at Peeta in a romantic way off camera. Not that I noticed, anyway.

"Peeta and I aren't like-"

"Oh I know you believe that", she interrupts me, clearly expecting my response, "but I know better", I just have my mouth open, unable to object at her words, and I turn to look at Peeta who came out of the kitchen with a smile only the kitchen can provide to him. He sees us and smile bigger, "Open your eyes Katniss, or you'll miss what's in front of you". She finally says and stands up as Peeta approaches.

"Hey Annie! How's the ba-" says Peeta but Annie interrupts him.

"Peeta sorry I've got to run! Bye Katniss!" Peeta stares at me confused, I turn at Annie and she winks at me and then leaves, I laugh, she wanted us to be alone. But I still don't get through what she said; _open your eyes or you'll miss what's in front of you. _What does that mean? That Peeta will eventually give up and move on? Well all I want is or him to move on and find someone who can make him happy, who can give him what he deserves. But, when she says _I know you believe that_, does she mean, that we _are _together, but I haven't realized? Or... don't want to?

"Katniss?" Peeta asks concerned. How long have I been lost in thought? "Are you OK?" his eyebrows narrowed and his gaze intense.

"Yeah, I just.." I got lost in his eyes, those big blue eyes. I just can't look at him the same way, after what Annie said. I mean, I always knew he loved me but, do I look at him, in a romantic way, unconsciously?

"Just what?" he asks impatiently. My mouth is open, I must look so stupid. I shake my head.

"Was lost in thought, sorry", I finally say, but he still looks confused. He had been quite serious with me today. What did I do yesterday? "Did something happen yesterday?"

He instantly tightens and his jaw closes.

"Besides you getting drunk?" he answers with his eyes closed, like the words hurt on his throat. He's about to say something but then he thinks it over and says: "No". Then he stands up coldly to leave me there in complete anguish. What did I do -besides getting drunk- to hurt him? It kills me, that even when I'm drunk, I cause him pain. _Dammit Katniss. You'll end up loosing what is in front of you... But what exactly is that?_

Those words I can't get off my mind.


	5. Not That Quick

IMPORTANT AN: For all of you who already read the version of chapter 4 that I uploaded March 27th, please read it again! I modified it, added very important hints to what Katniss did. READ IT AGAIN PLEASE.

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><p>Peeta<p>

This time I am pissed, and sad. Like she took my heart out of my chest. And I can't look at her anymore, now that I know that it was not real, that she doesn't remember, confirming what I feared last night, she was only under the effects of alcohol. She didn't mean what she said. She's still the same Katniss. And comparing to this pain, I'd rather take another hundred Hunger Games, because now it isn't the Capitol who is playing with me and my emotions, it is my object of love, who is playing with them. I am again, a piece in someone else's games. And that, I can't bare.

And so, with my eyes watering, I walk to the car that will take us to Paylor's mansion and Haymitch is there. We get in the car and get away from the hotel.

"How are you holding up?" he asks me, just when I needed to get my mind of things, but lets face it, I'll never do. I know he's on my side on this one.

"She doesn't remember anything", I answer coldly.

"Of course she doesn't, she drank the whole whisky bottle!" he exclaims, and I threw a look at him indicating I don't want to speak about it. Besides, it only brings back the shiny memories of her that won't leave me alone. We ride in silence until we arrive Paylor's. We meet with everybody outside and then get inside.

"Hey bakerboy, lets forget about it for a second shall we?" Johanna says to me when she sees my angry face. They were all there last night for Katniss' episode, Annie, Haymitch, Johanna, Octavia and Venia and Flavius. Even Enobria was there. She came last night for the ceremony. But Johanna is right, better leave it for later.

We enter a big room with white walls, ceiling and floor with red and silver furniture which I'm sure I've been in before, but all of the furniture has been changed since the last time I came here. And the smell is not roses anymore, it doesn't have a particular smell tough, but whatever is better than what snow's left behind. In the center of the room there is a large table with chairs for about 20 people. I didn't realize we were so many. We take our seats, Katniss, Haymitch, Enobria, Annie, Johanna, Gale, President Paylor, Effie, a few other Generals and important members of the parliament are here.

"Good evening ladies and gentleman, I asked you to gather here, because me and members of the parliament have decided recently, a few laws should be stated to this new nation, in a constitution, and we would like every person in this room to be a part of it, as voters. Every law will be mentioned and each person will vote yes or no, should it be stated. As well as signing the constitution officially as witnesses. You shall decide to participate or to not", he says, waiting for a few no's, but no one objects. "Perfect, then we shall begin". I do feel extremely honored by this, I could never, even in my wildest dreams, imagine something like this would ever happen to me. I just hope I make all of the right decisions. Paylor gets out a large list on a screen so all of us can see the laws for which we will vote, and it starts.

"Capitol kids, are submitted to Hunger Games", I am shocked, they are still considering this! Isn't it why millions of innocent lives were lost? To stop this inhumanity?

"I vote no", says Annie, and then Johanna, and then to my surprise, Haymitch.

"No", says all the members of the parliament and Paylor. I am relieved Paylor said no, since he is the president he could decide one day to turn like Snow and start the Hunger Games again.

"Yes", say the Generals and Gale. But Katniss and I remain silent. I'm hoping she says no, but I know for the grief of her sister, she'll say yes.

"No", I finally say, and I see she's about to say yes, because she looks at me with sad eyes, therefore I say: "She wouldn't have wanted it", and Paylor throws me a look for me to shut up, it's unprofessional, but it seemed to have worked, I hope.

"I- I vote-", she looks at me panicked. Afraid she will answer wrongly.

"Come on sweetheart, we don't have all day", says Haymitch impatiently.

"N- No", she mumbles looking at me. I sigh, relieved. Nothing could've made me happier right now than she, taking sense again. And so Paylor reads the next proposition as someone in the back starts writing the approved laws.

"District 1 to 13 from now on, will always be part of Panem, indisputably of whatever internal situations and will be controlled by the Capitol", that is good. Panem together again, controlled by a fair, Capitol. "And the people will vote for it's leaders and governors", without thinking any other second I vote yes, as well as everybody else.

"Each new family will be assigned a house big enough for a two parents and six children, the seam's houses will be reconstructed and will live in the same conditions as the middle class", of course Katniss and Gale are the first to vote yes enthusiastically.

"Yes", votes everybody except one for the parliament who says people in the seam should earn their house like the middle class did. I snarled at him in anger. He sounds like the old Capitol parliament. Katniss stared at me the whole time. Expressionless. To which I tried not to put attention. We went through a few more laws, some where approved and some were not, like the using of mutts and avoxes. Peacekeepers where approved, but these would actually be trained to be _peace_keepers, trained with a whole new mentality. None of the old peacekeepers is alive, so District Two will tomorrow start recruiting peacekeepers, who will not punish fiscally but by the using of jail, another law which was approved. The Victors will keep their houses and the remaining ones will be given away. Torturing is now illegal, as well as murdering -this includes the Capitol-, now criminals will be in trial to determine their sentence. Like the old days, they said. This is what we all wanted, all along, but the last law was what Katniss was most happy about.

"The forest will be now open for everyone, hunting and trading is now an official way to earn a living", her face lit up and her eyes wide open. There was no one punishing people for that anymore, but now that it is official, all people in the seam can, and that makes her happy. Even though most of them are dead.

"Well people, this changes will be aired tomorrow night, officially. You should be home by then", he says pointing me and Katniss and... Johanna? Oh god no. I put my face in my hands when I realize why she pointed at her, and she chuckles.

"Don't worry Peeta, I won't get in the way of you and Ms. Everdeen", she whispers in my ear, but that doesn't make it any better. She, and her attitude living next to me... I might as well need the nightlock.

We say goodbye and leave for the school we are visiting today. It's only 4 O'clock. I don't speak to Katniss in the whole way, even tough we are alone in the car. We arrive and I see a whole bunch of kids, waving at us and screaming, I even say some little girls crying at the sight of us. I wave back and smile, walking up tho the conference room in which we are supposed to talk. Well, we are supposed to answer little kids' questions.

So it begun, an endless number of nonsense question and answer. Little kids, can't blame them. Questions about upcoming Hunger Games, our experiences in the Hunger Games, revolution, Finnick and Annie's baby and mostly about my relationship with Katniss. There was this little girl who was amused by Annie having a baby and kept on asking her questions, but there was this question she asked, Katniss' answer threw me off completely, just to make me angry again, and hopeful.

"And are you and Peeta having kids?" her eyes opened widely and she laughed.

"Let's not go that quick", she winks to me.

What was she playing to? What is that supposed to mean? That we _are _together? It's not that I do not love the idea, but what changed her mind? Because after what I saw this morning, she was still the same Katniss who ripped my heart apart after the first Victory tour. And then over and over again... Who I forgave, but now I deserve an answer.


	6. We All Know

AN: Sorry I took so long to update! Please comment & review!

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><p>Katniss<p>

All my feelings are mixed up as we go out of the school, I know Peeta probably hates me, but I don't know why, I said that thing about having kids, which I only said to make him happy, I don't intend to marry him. It never occurs to me. Maybe that's what got him pissed, but since I don't know why he's angry I have to ask someone who knows, and who also seems to be mad at me.

"Haymitch, I have to talk to you", I say pushing him into a car. We get inside and drive to the hotel. We're alone.

"I won't solve your problems for you, you know that right?" he says as he gets out a tiny bottle which I think contains alcohol. Great.

"What's wrong with him?"

"What's wrong with him? What's wrong with you! You can't just go and mess with him", he says angrily and I'm shocked, he had never spoken to me like this, "look kid, I'm not buying the _I'm not good for him, I want what's best for him _act anymore, so if you want to be with him go and be with him but don't go around giving him false hopes when you don't intent to be with him. He has been beside you all this time".

"What happened last night?"

"Nothing abnormal, you just threw yourself at him, kissed him and told him you loved him over and over again. He still hoped maybe you meant it, until this morning", he answers sarcastically, snarling a bit. And I remember, this morning when I asked what had happened, and he got furious. I'm a horrible person. "Oh! I almost forgot, you kissed Gale in the roof", he lest out a small laugh before his face turns serious again, "you'll never deserve him", he finally says. I already knew about Gale, but still hoped for the opposite.

I frown at myself. Disgusted of what I have become since my first games. What I do to people. "Does he-"

"No. Only Annie and me saw. But he's still mad at you tough, let's just hope he doesn't find out, or else your little love story will be finished. Wouldn't it?" I growl at him, this makes me angry, _your little love story._

"We are not like that!" he sighs at my screaming. He probably expected that.

"We all know you love the kid, Katniss", he rolls his eyes, "but until you see it for yourself, don't give him hope".

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><p>I can't sleep. Haymitch's words keep ringing in my head over and over again. <em>We all know you love the kid.<em> Does he know I love him? Do I know? I certainly don't. I feel afraid to see him, but I need to apologize... Tell him what I feel. I knock on his door but nobody's there. Where could he be? The justice building's roof. But I'm sure he didn't go all the way there. So I try in this roof. And he's there of course.

"Hey", I say.

"Hey", he answers coldly.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask trying to relieve the tension. He shakes his head.

"Me neither", I answer. There is silence for a minute, because I can't seem to be brave enough to say I'm sorry.

I close my eyes, avoiding his face, "I'm sorry Peeta! I didn't want to-"

"Save it, Katniss", he interrupts me calmly, but I know he is forcing down a scream, "I've heard this before, it's just going to end up the same way", there is sadness in his voice, and I can see his eyelashes flutter fast, to stop his eyes from tearing.

"It doesn't have to.." _I'll deserve to burn, from the pain I'll cause him after saying this, _"I... I kissed Ga- Gale", the words finally come out after piercing mi throat. He sighs and I can see the few tears his eyelashes where trying to hold, come down his cheek. He takes a minute before he speaks.

"Katniss, why are you telling me this?" he says not looking at me.

"Because I felt nothing!" I answered a little angry; because it made no sense to me that he would think it meant something to me. But it washes away when I realize, after all I've put him through, he has every right to question my relationship with Gale.

"And what does that mean? Where does it leave us? Or are you going to toy around with me some more like yesterday?" I can't bare his words, I just can't. I bury my face in my hands and start sobbing. I feel his hand as it grabs mine and pulls it away from my face. "Look Katniss, I don't want you to cry, but many times you've proved me that I am nothing to you, that I don't mean anything to you, I'll forever be bread-boy, and I can live with that, I'll be your friend if that's what you need me to be, but you can't be expecting me to be okay with you changing me from lover to just friends over night, and neither to be okay with you kissing someone else", tears run down his cheeks, "because I can't take that pain", tears run through my face. But his are much more painful.

"I want- I want to t- try", I mumble between sobs, but he understands. His face lit up instantly but then his eyes turned sad again as well as his smile.

"Try what?"

"Being together", I'm still crying, but his wide washes it away, and he stares at my lips, as if resisting to kiss them, and he doesn't. I'm grateful for that, I want to take it slowly, like Haymitch said, not to give him false hope. Even though I chose him over Gale, but, will I eventually love him? That I can't be sure of. It can't be hard, falling in love with a man like Peeta, but I know what he will want in the future, and that, I can't give him. Better enjoy the moment.

We go back to my room and get into bed. I stare awkwardly as he takes off his shirt and pants to sleep only in his boxers, like he always used to, but now that we are trying to be together for real, it's kind of weird. He climbs into bed with me and I pull him closer, burying myself in his arms like I used to, and sink into sleep.

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><p>I wake up with him beside me. He's wide awake, stroking my hair.<p>

"No nightmares?" he asks. I shake my head

"Me neither", he looks into my eyes and smiles, "Who knew it would take all this time for the star-crossed lovers to be together after all?" he says and I chuckle. All I wanted to do was to lay in his arms all day because even though he was so close, I've missed him, this way. But I can't because Effie walks in on us, and of course, "It's going to be a very busy day!"

I change to one of my every-day Mockingjay outfits and braid my hair. What's left of it anyway. We pack our stuff and go downstairs for the check out. As Peeta is checking out, I see Gale, alone.

"Hey Gale", I say awkwardly as I approach him.

"Hey Catnip", he says looking at me intensively.

"Going back to Two?", I ask.

"Yeah, we'll start recruiting the new peacekeepers tomorrow", he smiles at me, "who would've thought we'd be here one day?", he says and I nod. The kids who hunt illegally in District Twelve, now signing constitutions and recruiting peacekeepers. But still, just kids.

"Gale about last night...-"

"You don't have to explain", his face turns serious now, "you were drunk, I took advantage of that. But I couldn't help myself", his gaze drops to the floor, ashamed. "I know you are with him, and I'm with Daunria now. You're my best friend Katniss", I held my mouth open unable to answer. I hate to see him sad, after all he _is _my best friend. Always has been.

"Lets go people! Gotta stick to the schedule", Effie announces, and I'm still unable to answer.

"I love you Catnip", he says and kisses my forehead. I nod and turn around to face Peeta who is standing in front of me, looking at Gale intensively. I take a step towards Peeta, forcing myself away from the man who killed my sister, who I- I... Forgave. And it's harder than I expected, to break away a bond so strong, and leave with another man.

"Goodbye Gale", Peeta says coldly and with that, we were out of the hotel for good. A few more goodbyes, to Annie, the prep team, Enobria, and my mom. Who didn't come see me, I had to go to her after we left the hotel. Her seeing me causes her pain, she remembers Prim and my dad, and that hurts both of us.

We reach the train station and Peeta takes my hand in his as we get on the train. I know it's harder for him than for me to take the Capitol's train, he was captured and brainwashed, but he's much stronger than I am, and he lost all of his family. I would probably be mad by now... Well, worse.

We get into our room and when I'm about to close the door when I see Johanna and Haymitch, staring at me intensively from the end of the hallway. Both frowning, which only makes me feel more guilty, if that's possible. But I close the door to embrace Peeta as I explode in sobs of guilt, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cannot give what you give me", I mumble between sobs. _He's so good. So great, I must be as damned as Cato was. Not even until the day I die, will I be able to repay what this man for what he has done. And not just for me. _

"Hey, It's okay. You don't have to be sorry", he takes the tears of my eyes trying to calm me down, "You're here now, and that is more than I'll ever need. You don't owe anyth-"

"Stop saying that!" anger shots through me as I push Peeta away from me and I think of Haymitch's face frowning at me, always saying, _heartless monster, you'll never deserve him. _

It hurts because it's true.


	7. Yours Did

AN: Little turn of events. Review & Comment Please!

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><p>Peeta<p>

I felt surprised, at how easily her emotions can change. But that tends to happen, when you have been in the arena.

"You are so messed up", I tell her smiling as she peeks through her eyelashes to take a look at me. She chuckles a bit.

"So are you".

I lift her up in my arms and put her in bed. She curls in my chest to raise her body temperature with my naturally warm one. "I'm sorry... I took so long", she finally says, _but I'm not sorry. _I have her now, and she came to me, it was real, not forced like the Capitol star-crossed lovers were. We're not them anymore; we can take off our masks, and go back to where it all began.

District Twelve.

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><p>Avoiding Johanna successfully, we escape the train station. I take Katniss' hand in mine, as we enter Victor's Village. Just in time to see the Capitol's announcement I'm so eager to watch. No one could've ever dreamed this rules would ever be established. <em>The surprise in the citizen's faces will be priceless, <em>I keep thinking. She looks at me and let go of my hand, "They are not ready for us being... Together", she says a little unsure. I frown at her, always putting new excuses, but mostly because faint memories of her rejecting me- several times, go through my head. And I'm suddenly not so happy with her. _Go away! I don't want you anymore! _Her words eco in my head, but it hurts the most when her voice is saying: _how could you be so stupid! It was only for the cameras, _she laughs. And I'm sure this thought is real.

I growl at her concerned face, and angrily pace to town. And then to the bakery, which I hadn't gone to since Katniss wouldn't let me. She would say it was bad for my health. _But why did I ever listen to her? She's the one who got my parents killed anyway. And my little brothers- _

I shut the bakery's door brusquely behind me at the thought of Katniss whipping my brother. I snarl in anger, _she killed him. And I didn't stop her. Thought she loved me too, only to find out it was an act. Stupid I've been._

But that wasn't nearly the worst part, as I enter the bakery. The memories -either real or not-, come back to me. _She strangles me. "Stop Katniss!" she laughs intensively. Like this is fun. "Silly Peeta, you believed every word", suddenly I'm tied by the arms and legs -my prosthetic leg-, against a big table. Doctors in white robes, with knives and needles. Pain, working it's way through my body. I'm screaming Katniss' name, but she only comes to torment me, "none of this would've happened, if you hadn't been stupid to think I would love you, a baker". And he appears, to kiss her fiercely in front of me; and that I just can take. Blood covers my eyes. _Everything turns black and cold, in the messed up place that is my mind.

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><p><em>Ouch.<em> My head aches. There's noise, someone's here. _But, where exactly is here? _I open my eyes and gaze a burned ceiling. I take a look around the familiar room, but don't exactly recognize it. I stand up, which would've been impossible without my prosthetic, because right now my whole body feels limb. I observe myself in a near-by mirror, watch my very-much-bruised skin. _Ouch! _It hurts too. I can hear water running somewhere.

"Ray?" I call out. Must be him, my dad's best friend. He must have been there. In the bakery; where I… _passed out?_ No answer.

_Ouch. _My whole body aches again. I grip the closest chair to me, which is all burnt. I can hear silent crying, from a _woman? _"Delly?" I call for the only woman I could think would be here, taking care of me.

"Coming", she answers, her voice breaking into silent sobs. I shiver a little as I enter the kitchen; a big smile crosses my face at the sight of Delly. Always-happy Delly; one of the only persons I can trust these days. She starts sobbing louder, as I hug her from behind. I turn her around so she's facing me, and I'm a little concerned.

"Delly, what's wrong?" my gaze intense on hers. Delly never cries.

"Mine didn't come back. Yours did", she smiles faintly, but I don't understand. I step away from her, "Who came- who?" I mumble, at the possibility that—

"Your mom did", everything turns black again.


	8. Running Away

**AN:** I'm SO sorry I didn't upload this sooner, I just had my spring break and stuff, so I couldn't update. Will update again this week! COMMENT & REVIEW ON THE CHARACTERS PLEASE. -Thanks for ur reviews! :)

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><p>Katniss<p>

The bathroom floor is cold against my skin as I wake myself up from one of my nightmares. _Do not think about her. It will only bring more pain. Nothing has happened, you're okay. Stop crying. _I try to convince myself, but it's hopeless. This was one of my worse ones and I found myself gasping for air. I couldn't stop Gale- _no;_ _I couldn't stop_ _Coin_ from killing her. I break into sobs that turn into screams, but he's not here to comfort me. I'm laying in the hard floor, taking my knees close to my chest.

I take one hand to my face, to where the flames licked, leaving evidence of a tragedy I try so hard to push away. And like Peeta says, maybe that is my problem. But I'm just not ready to deal with that kind of pain.

_"Katniss!" she screams, "Where were you? Why didn't you save me?" _My mind torments me again, and the screaming begins again. "I- I'm sorry P-", I mumble but the slam of the door interrupts me. _Johanna._

"Go away!" I snarl at her, I don't want anyone here besides Peeta. He's probably the only one who understands. But she only gets closer.

"You wouldn't let me sleep. I think it's only fair if I annoy you too", she grins widely. I close my eyes tightly and grip my knees tighter. Tears never stop streaming down my face. She sighs loudly before saying, "I've been there too". I perk through my eyelashes. She stares at the ceiling, sitting down beside me, "Lost my best friend, you know?" but that doesn't make me feel better, only worse, for remembering Finnick Odair's death. We all loved him. But she has lost more than I have; I still have Peeta, and mom, even though neither of them_ loves_ seeing me right now. But it is Peeta who I'm worried about.

"How is he?" I ask. My voice cracking and eyes still closed.

"Dealing. His... thoughts keep changing a lot ever since his last episode", I know she meant to say feelings -towards me- instead of thoughts, but she didn't, for my mental sake. "It's not you", she says when she sees my depressed expression, "her mother... Is difficult, and he's still in shock, Katniss. He has a lot to deal with".

He won't see me anymore. He doesn't trust me all of a sudden and I just hope he doesn't see me as he did back in 13. I thought he was getting better, but it's been like this since I told him not to hold my hand and he ran off. He's been staying at his house ever since. He won't come out, for he has to go through the bakery to get out, and the bakery triggers his flashbacks. They've told me that he has had thoughts of killing himself at night. He's afraid of going through the bakery, and things getting worse. They've sent many doctors in, to try and help him, Haymitch made sure of that.

"Has he said anything? About... _me?_" I ask Johanna with hopes that seem inexistent at the time.

She shakes her head, "you're not going to like it". I wanted him to somehow hate me, so things could be easier, but I didn't thought it would hurt when he did. "What did he say?"

She sighs, "He blames you again... For the fires", I gasp for my 'fears' come true, "But I do know it's his mother fault. She does hate you, and I've seen her lie about you several times", she turns a little angry, "that bitch. I've hated her since the minute I laid eyes on her. Did you know she used to beat Peeta?"

_Prim smiles at the sight of the burnt bread, "the boy from the bakery gave it to me", i tell her and her gray eyes open wide, "I like him, Pitah", and I laugh at her pronunciation. She is so small._

"Katniss?" she says snapping me out of my memories.

"I'll go see him. Tomorrow maybe", I say not really sure of my decision.

"Like she will let you", she chuckles a bit. I have only seen Peeta's mom once. Haymitch told me a small group of people who had survived the bombings by running off to Victor's Village, were brought back from district eleven. Apparently District Eleven sent help to twelve, but didn't find the people in the woods. It weren't more than 40 people. A train brought them back to twelve after the Capitol's new laws announcement, because one law states that you can travel from district to district. Johanna and I went to the train station; I had no idea where Peeta was. I hoped Madge would be in the group, but I wasn't that lucky.

_A dark haired woman, with familiar blue eyes approaches us. I turn to Johanna with concerned eyes, because the woman looks at me with eyes that are full of rage. Eyes I recognize once she is standing two feet away from me. _

_"Miss- Miss Melark", is the only words I can get out from the joy -and fear-, of who I guessed was Peeta's mom, survival. _

_She smiles coldly at my nervousness, "Miss Everdeen, may I ask where my son is?" She doesn't hesitate to ask and I stand with my mouth open at the question I've been asking myself since yesterday. "Oh", she says realizing I don't know. Her frown becomes deeper, "I see", she smiles, "You didn't even bother to take care of the boy you drove mad", Johanna, who had been silent next to me, growls under her breath. I grab her arm, forcing her not to attack the woman. She walks away and I just stand silently, trying to swallow her words. I let go of Johanna's arm when I can't deal with what just happened and the memories that run through my mind of Peeta saying: _You did this to me_, in his sleep. I run to the woods._

I stare at Johanna, "I _have _to", and I remember I never told them about Peeta and myself. And I didn't intend to, but she's getting suspicious and will probably not let this go.

"Why?" she asks grinning.

"I just have to", I say a little not-too-convincing.

"Well, I will not help you if you don't tell me why it is so important".

"I never asked for your help", but I _do _need it.

"Oh so tell me then what is your plan for getting past Peeta's bakery and into his house without getting _slaughtered _by his mom?" I flinch at the word _slaughter _and how it triggers memories of a blonde, filled-with-blood Cato. Memories that darken every bit of my mind and I have to pull my legs closer to me. "Why are you so eager to go anyway?" I look down at my feet, "Well, I… I agreed to be", she frowns, "with him".

Her frown becomes deeper, "Uh, no", she takes her face in her hands; "You don't even like the boy that way!" Her fists are closed tightly and for a moment, I'm scared she might hit me or something. "I..." she looks up, growling a bit, "I don't know if I do. Many times I've felt like its right. That we..." I look away; this seems so much real when I say it out loud, "that we _should _be_". _

She sighs loudly, "So, when do you-"

"As soon as possible. Today, maybe?" I interrupt. I'm not usually this desperate to see Peeta, but I feel like I deserve to point a few things out before he accuses me of the fires. Though it _was _my fault, I can't afford to lose him, without going mad.

She frowns, "too soon", and is starting to stand up when I grab her arm and stand up before her, "I'll be ready in 10 minutes". She doesn't argue because as soon as I say this I'm out the door. I'm putting on my clothes when I hear her sigh and mutter, "as stubborn as a freaking animal".

* * *

><p>We are in the front of the bakery a few minutes later. It hasn't opened yet, it's only 7am.<p>

"What now? Do we just barge in!" Johanna says, irritated.

"I hoped you had a better idea".

She rolls her eyes, "come on, there has to be a back door". We go around the bakery and take a few steps which lead to a back door. "Told you", she says and starts forcing the door knob open.


End file.
